acarerseyes

Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

Preparation Chris’ Birthday…

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I stood staring at the birthday cards in front of me, ‘Daddy’ ‘Dad’ they all read. I was in town, on my own, I felt a little bit lost actually, I normally have at least one of the girls with me or Chris, but rarely will you find me on my own. I didn’t know what to do with my hands, where to put my bags or anything because I am so used to having a pushchair with me. I was there to buy cards and presents for Chris, because it will soon be his birthday, I was trying to think about it positively and make things a little special for him, I know he finds birthdays hard but I always try my hardest because maybe over time they will get easier. Anyway back to staring at the cards…

I picked up a card, Daddy was written on the front with a little picture of badgers below it, the words were gorgeous, I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I opened the card up continuing to read and think about the words, that is when the full force of my emotion hit me…  daddy card

Every word hit me, it rang so true, but my mind always wondered back to how sometimes he was too unwell to even realise this, because being mentally unwell is so cruel, it can take away any belief anyone loves or cares for you no matter how untrue it is. I managed to pull myself together and disperse the tears; I walked over to the lady at the till and paid for the cards I had chosen for him. I walked out of the shop, having paid, placed the cards into another bag and went to find him a present. This year the girls won’t be waking him up with smiles on their faces, cards and presents, he will be waking up on a psychiatric ward, feeling like no one even cares about him. This makes me even more determined to make sure that he has some element of a special day in while he is in there.

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Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

2 thoughts on “Preparation Chris’ Birthday…

  1. “being mentally unwell is so cruel, it can take away any belief anyone loves or cares for you no matter how untrue it is” This is exactly correct. Your insight is remarkable.

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