acarerseyes

Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness


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I have been quiet

I am sorry I have been so quiet for so long, I have sat down multiple times to write my blog and something always seems to happen, I hope that this one might be lucky enough to get published, so I am doing well if you are reading this.

I don’t even know where to begin, since Chris left hospital it has been one thing after another and I have been unwell an awful lot with various problems, I feel all I do is moan about how cora birthday 083I’m feeling or have this or that, that is enough to get anyone down. Cora turned one almost a week ago, it is amazing how far she has come and how amazing she has made our lives. Anyway back to Chris.

It has been hard for us all to adjust to him being at home, not only for the girls and I but for him as well, and even though he has been home for quite a while now it is still very much ongoing work with all settling back into routine with him around again, don’t forget he was in hospital for most of a 6month period. Medication is a problem, he isn’t taking it regularly enough, his moods are all over the place, and then there is the physical aspect of him being sick a lot of the time. The other night he got himself into a bit of a state, crying and sobbing uncontrollably until he eventually fell asleep. He couldn’t tell me what was wrong, didn’t want to talk and I felt pretty useless. Chris has never been a big talker but of late I have really noticed that he just ignores me half the time and won’t answer questions at all, I can see it is from the sheer amount of effort it will take to speak to me. This in itself is worrying, at least if I have an inkling of what is going on I know how worried or not to be, this just doesn’t seem to work lately.

I think I will leave it there for now, I need to return properly to blogging, it is my little place to express how I feel when perhaps it doesn’t feel like anyone else is listening.