acarerseyes

Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

‘You are always with us Daddy.’

2 Comments

It is so important that even though Chris is in hospital, that our four children still continue the relationship they have with him when he is at home. Ok it isn’t going to be in the same way but we can adapt things so they can continue to build on their relationships with him. This I feel isn’t only just important for the girls but equally important at reminding Chris what he has to live for and what is waiting for him at home.

They speak to him most days on the telephone, letting him know bits about their day, ok Cora is too little at only 8months to hold a conversation but she cadaddy photon say ‘Dadada’ and she can listen to her Daddy’s voice. They look forward to speaking to Daddy; we often call if they are missing him or if one has hurt themselves and want Daddy. They have also been to visit him as I wrote about on my blog ‘A Trip to the ‘Family Room’ it was lovely to watch them with him, it was like nothing had changed, and children are very resilient.

However, as you can imagine they miss him greatly, four weeks is a long time for them, a lot longer than it feels for me. I was talking to my mum about ways we could help them dealing with Daddy being in hospital and what they can do to feel closer to him when they miss him. She came up with an idea, having photo of him, with a message on the back, written to each of them from him so that when they missed him they would have something to look at and remember he is always with them and always thinks about them.

As you can see from the photo I printed off a photo of him, the same for all of them, he wrote a message on the back for each of them and I laminated and cut them out. They have taken their photo with them everywhere they have been, and instead of getting really upset that they miss him, they have taken out their photo, it has provided comfort, while I provide the cuddles.

School and playgroup have been amazing about it as well, they know why my girls have the photos, and they gave them little holders to put them in that you would normally wear to show your identification so that they don’t get lost. Such a small thing, but one that has been so important in continuing their relationship with Daddy, while he is unwell.

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Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

2 thoughts on “‘You are always with us Daddy.’

  1. I call children “Puddlehoppers”…because in times of crisis when adults stay up to their necks in puddle…kids hop through. eg “I am really sad…..whats for tea” almost in same breath! Love and consistency sees them through and you are providing that in abundance. Watch out for self too xx

  2. Thank you Dee, I love the term ‘puddlehoppers’ I completely agree. I am looking after myself thanks 🙂 Take care x

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