Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

Tough Love

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cnphotography4Doing the right thing is often the most difficult, for example a couple of weeks ago I found empty packets of Cocodamol in Chris pocket while he was on the ward and alerted staff to it because, I love him, I care deeply and overdosing on Cocodamol isn’t safe or helpful to him. I then had to tell staff again the other night that whilst out on escorted leave with me he drank a big bottle of WKD, the thing is as much as I know he is going to hate me for it and trust gets dented for a little while, I can’t just sit there and watch him destroy himself, I don’t want him in there any longer than he has to be and I long at the moment for the time he is home.

It is really difficult to sit there and explain to someone that can’t see that what you’re doing is to help them get well and not to upset them or ‘go against them’ I am always prepared that for a short while after he won’t speak to me or if he does it is usually to express his emotions around what I have ‘done to him.’ I really hope that when he comes out of hospital again and is well enough to see things, that he can see exactly why I have had to make some of the decisions I have and that they were not nice or easy for me either.

That is the thing about tough love, you don’t just do what someone wants you to do regardless, it is about doing what is best, the same as when your bringing up children, giving them sweets every time they ask, they may love you for it but their teeth, behaviour, diet etc wont so because you love them you say no.


Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

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