I know I have been quiet for awhile, the past few weeks I am not going to lie have been hard, with a whole range of emotions from relief, happiness, to sadness and anger. You name it; I have probably felt it over the last couple of weeks. Chris remains in hospital where they are monitoring him and changing his medication to suit, they so far, apart from one occasion have been amazing, really caring and I leave knowing they are looking after him, unlike our local hospital.
With Christmas upon us I have been trying to keep myself busy which with four children is pretty easy but every now and again I am reminded as to the reality of what has been going on, and I have lived in an unknown world as to whether Chris would be well enough to have some leave over Christmas or not. I still won’t know the definite answer to this until later today so for now it is still just a wait and see game. As much as I would like him home if only for a little while, I know he is still very far from well so understandably it is causing me worry about looking after him and keeping him safe, although we know he can return at any time.
I have been touched so much lately by other people’s kindness, on many occasions I have been brought to tears. My health visitor ordered the girls presents and dropped them round on Friday, our doctors give out hampers to those who have had a tough year, another of my friends gave me something so special and personal to her to remind me I am never alone, another friend gave me loads of things to make Christmas a little bit more special saying ‘if you can’t help your friends at Christmas, then when can you?’ I have had others help with the girls; some have offered or given me lifts to the hospital to see Chris. Then there are those that have been there to listen, some even at silly hours of the night, and I mean it, I am deeply touched. I am honoured to call them my friends.
I am incredibly lucky that both mum and dad are coming over for Christmas day so some of the pressure will be taken away from me, they can help with the Christmas dinner and the girls and I can concentrate on being a family again if Chris makes it home for awhile. They will be around to help out and share Christmas with.
I just want to take the opportunity to thank you all for helping me through the last few weeks, for listening and sharing your experiences with me. I want to wish you all a very Happy Christmas whatever your plans may be and send love and happiness your way.