I have been a little quiet of late, this is because I am preparing to move house, yes only I could have been offered a house move right after having a baby, while Chris has been his most wobbly in a long time and while there is so much upheaval already. Trouble is I couldn’t say no or put it off because I know that this won’t come up again and if it did, not for a long time. So I have been trying to pack up my house in just over a week, with four children, one newborn, on their summer holidays with Chris to look after and no help. Well no help until my wonderful mum saved the day and is coming back up today to stay and help me out, even for me doing it all on my own was waaay more than I could do.
Chris hasn’t been well in a few weeks but he’s slowly getting worse, I am trying my hardest to keep him on an even keel and I’m failing. These past few days he has been getting slowly worse, his use of prn medication has soared. The weekend was very difficult with him letting me know he was so suicidal it was scaring him. His CPN has brought his appointment forward so it is now today, which is a good thing because last night he decided to go and get his prescription, something he never does himself normally and take half of it, then refuse to go and be seen medically. So I have had the job of keeping a close eye on him again, so I have hardly slept and this can’t keep happening. Overdoses are wrecking his body, it is quite scary the damage he is doing slowly over time.
So we shall see what today holds and thank goodness for mum coming, it is a huge relief.