I find life is so lonely sometimes, a world full of so many people yet I sometimes feel like I am the only one. Of course while the children are up and playing I feel far from lonely or on my own but once they are all asleep and Chris is unwell the world becomes a lonely place. Chris doesn’t make for good company, choosing to disappear on me altogether, sleep or sit in complete silence. It can be pretty tough; I have said before that the only way I can explain it is like living as a single parent only harder because I have Chris to look after as well.
I try and hold onto all the good things we do together when he isn’t unwell and all the memories we have built, knowing that when the time is right we will add once again to that collection but it can be so hard to remain positive, but on a brave face and just ride it out. I don’t think people realise just how isolated you can become while caring for someone. I am constantly juggling two or more things at once on my own with very little help from anyone else. Looking after someone with a mental illness for me is at its hardest while treading on eggshells, being the one at fault no matter the problem and having to wait till the person is well again for any amount of thanks because while they are unwell they don’t see what you do for them.
If anyone reading this is a carer for someone remember;
- Don’t feel alone, remember there are many of us out there who understand.
- Look after yourself even though it’s hard because if you are like me, everything crumbles unless I am ok.
- Hold onto the good to get you through the bad/hard times.
- Don’t be hard on yourself, you are only human.
- Remember no matter how small, you have done something today to help improve the life of the person you care for.
That makes you pretty darn special in my opinion.