Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

Caring can be lonely


I find life is so lonely sometimes, a world full of so many people yet I sometimes feel like  I am the only one. Of course while the children are up and playing I feel far from lonely or on my own but once they are all asleep and Chris is unwell the world becomes a lonely place. Chris doesn’t make for good company, choosing to disappear on me altogether, sleep or sit in complete silence. It can be pretty tough; I have said before that the only way I can explain it is like living as a single parent only harder because I have Chris to look after as well.

I try and hold onto all the good things we do together when he isn’t unwell and all the memories we have built, knowing that when the time is right we will add once again to that collection but it can be so hard to remain positive, but on a brave face and just ride it out. I don’t think people realise just how isolated you can become while caring for someone. I am constantly juggling two or more things at once on my own with very little help from anyone else. Looking after someone with a mental illness for me is at its hardest while treading on eggshells, being the one at fault no matter the problem and having to wait till the person is well again for any amount of thanks because while they are unwell they don’t see what you do for them.

If anyone reading this is a carer for someone remember;

  • Don’t feel alone, remember there are many of us out there who understand.
  • Look after yourself even though it’s hard because if you are like me, everything crumbles unless I am ok.
  • Hold onto the good to get you through the bad/hard times.
  • Don’t be hard on yourself, you are only human.
  • Remember no matter how small, you have done something today to help improve the life of the person you care for.

That makes you pretty darn special in my opinion.


Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

3 thoughts on “Caring can be lonely

  1. This is exactly what I needed to hear. You’re certainly not the only one, and I hope that makes you feel a little less lonely.

  2. my partner care’s for me as I have a brain acquired injury, when my med’s are all over the place I know I am a total cow, putting it mildly, once my medications are regulated and I am back to normal (for lack of a better word)

    I am able to once again function as a mother, partner and work as I do including keeping on top of the whole family thing that mums do, but when I go down hill on occasion which is normally due to me running out of meds which is because I have taken too many too close together therefore not being able to have repeats refilled due to the days in between refills rules I go down hill and down hill fast, my partner takes over when this happens and remains positive as he looks after our 3 year old son and handles my mood swings and abuse, as I swear at him or tell him off finding whatever I can to pick a fight over just because I am feeling shit,

    without the help and support my other half gives me at times like this (although there not often) then I would be lost,

    he is also the first face I want to see after I have a seizure,

    and is always there when I come too (although he has figured out how to duck and weave if I come out of it and am somewhat aggressive),

    he is always there to keep the kids calm when I do have a seizure,

    again it doesn’t happen that often anymore, but they still do happen,

    he is always there to make sure I am ok after going through one of these shitty things,

    I often think to myself how the hell does he do it?

    I often wonder why he stays with me, because to be honest I am an utter bitch when my meds are not regulated,

    I will often question if I am still me or simply if I am the end result of being nothing more than a chemical, that I have to put into my body daily to function.

    There is a lot to be said for you guys as careers you are strong people and people I admire, but mostly you are special people who love whole heartily, and unconditionally xx Thank you

  3. Thanks for sharing. Some lovely thoughts for other carers too. Hope you have a lovely weekend.

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