..with BPD (borderline personality disorder) will commit suicide. This statistic was given to me by an inpatient Psychiatrist after I had, had a very long telephone call with him (back in 2011) about why I didn’t think Chris leaving hospital after one night was a very good idea. My reasons at the time were persistent overdose, wondering off early hours of the morning, self harm and numerous trips to A&E. His mental state was getting worse and he wasn’t complying with his medication, I wasn’t able to keep up what I had been doing to keep him safe without serious consequences to my health.
While normally I wouldn’t have minded being given a statistic, good or bad I found this one particularly inappropriate at the time, it was just really unhelpful under the circumstances. While I am sure he didn’t intend to cause me more worry than I already had, he didn’t really think about what he was saying and how it could affect me before he opened his mouth. It’s not something I worry about now or that plays on my mind, I mean there is no point in worrying about something you don’t know will or won’t happen, it’s not productive. I like to think he wouldn’t be the one in ten who committed suicide but for now I am happy making sure that we make the most of being together and spending time with the girls. I could (God forbid) get hit by a bus myself tomorrow after all; there are no certainties that anyone will live until they die naturally.