Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

One of the problems as a carer…


I was so upset earlier today and so angry because of something that happened involving the Dentist. I have this massive fear of the dentist and I have no idea why, the thought freaks me out but my teeth are falling apart and need seeing to. About 6 weeks ago I made an appointment which landed today, ten o’clock to be exact. A few weeks after making the appointment, the 12th March I needed to make Chris another doctor’s appointment but the only time I could get it for was at 10.15am today (27th March) because of all the other appointments this week and their bookings it was all I could get and knowing Chris HAD to attend because he would run out of his medication which just isn’t an option. So I cancelled the appointment at the dentist at the same time knowing they clashed. Earlier I tried booking a new appointment, which I was told to do when I cancelled the other week and was met with ‘you have been taken off our patient list’ to which I asked why, they responded with ‘you didn’t attend an appointment in Nov 2011 which we sent a letter for’ and ‘you cancelled an appointment at short notice’. Firstly I never received a letter, and secondly how on earth is two weeks notice classed as short? I mean that’s plenty of time to arrange someone else to take my place. Anyway she said she couldn’t add me back I would need to speak to a manager or something so I told her not to worry about it.

What really upsets me about this is once again it’s my health that goes down the pan because it’s not my fault I can’t just get up and attend an appointment,  it took me a lot to even book an appointment at the dentist and today I could have just cried at their excuse. I appreciate some people just don’t turn up or waste their time but other than attend there was nothing more I could do than cancel two weeks before the appointment. It’s not the first time I have missed appointments because of having to cancel because I can’t split myself into three places at once. Seems there is very little understanding and zero flexibility around carers and their own needs. I have written a letter to the manager and will await their response. Just didn’t really need that today.



Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

5 thoughts on “One of the problems as a carer…

  1. I understand and if you do not hear from the manager then go talk to him/her yourself in person. Be assertive and explain that you are a caregiver and why it was hard to make those appointments. I know how you feel because I have been there, Take care of you because your health is important to and it is hard to be in a lot of places when you are only one person. You are in my prayers. (((HUGS))))

  2. Grr. Certainly annoying.

    I hope you get what you need.

    Good luck,

    The Quiet Borderline

  3. Sorry to hear your health needs have been put to one side again!! And you’re right flexibility is needed – one thing I’m learning quickly is flexible isn’t part of the NHS system!! Hope you get a decent response from the manager x

  4. I hope you get an adequate response from the dentist, I would consider two weeks more than ample notice for them to give the appointment time to someone else.

    P.S I hate the dentist to, with a passion!

  5. Thank you, I could understand letting them down last moment but two weeks? Really? Thats plenty of time. Will let you know when I hear back.

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