Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

Overwhelming tiredness.

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Tiredness has hit me today and I’ve not been feeling overly well, all pregnancy and stress related, I need to remember to look after me as well sometimes because if I’m not well everything around me starts falling apart. Chris has struggled a little more over the past couple of days with agitation and low mood, but I’m hoping it’s because he is due his depot injection in the morning and that will help him improve, if not then plan B… not even sure what that is yet.

Getting a bit bogged down by the fact that after requesting he had an EEG the end of the summer last year we still haven’t heard anything, then again they ‘forgot’ to request the CT Scan too at first so maybe the same thing happened with this. Really annoys me how people who need to feel valued and wanted in life are met with the answers ‘oh sorry we forgot’ like they aren’t important.

I have my second counselling session tomorrow, as much as I feel it could help I don’t think they are going to be able to offer me enough sessions for me to get rid of everything I’ve built up, but for now I’m going with it, seeing where I end up at the end, if anything I get out of the house on my own for a little bit. Practically it’s a nightmare though as I need to get someone to pick my daughter up from playgroup and someone to sit with Chris and my youngest because he doesn’t want me to leave him alone, which is fair enough. I don’t have the freedom most people have of being able to just think ‘oh I will do that today and leave’ it’s a bit more complex and not many people are understanding of this.

Chris went up to bed awhile ago because he was very agitated so I’ve been keeping my eyes and ears on him while I wind down and then try getting some sleep myself, which is easier said than done these days! Looking at him and my girlies makes everything worthwhile though!


Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

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