Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

Quotes from professionals


Well I’ve been thinking of all the things I have heard over the last couple of years that various people have managed to say and how they are either shockingly bad or completely untrue.

So first off

  1. ‘We can’t section someone with a personality disorder’
  2. ‘He’s less of a priority because he isn’t sectioned; those who are have the cover of time scales and certain things that have to be in place by law.’
  3. ‘If you try and leave we will section you’
  4. ‘leave the hospital and we will call the police’
  5. ‘You are too high risk for psychotherapy’
  6. ‘you always feel suicidal’
  7. ‘stop being so selfish think about your little girls and your family’

Now quote one, said by a doctor, do you really think I am stupid, someone who is feeling ‘bugs crawling in his skin’ seeing images of himself trying to kill himself and attempting to act on these obviously means there is nothing going on and we should just leave him to get on with it because he’s BPD.

Quote two, said by a social worker, Ok to shove him in a room and forget about him until he decides he’s going to leave.

Quote 3, said by ward staff, Right so he isn’t allowed to leave but you’re not letting him outside despite the fact that legally you can’t stop him, yet he’s protected by nothing because he’s being held on fear basically.

Quote 4, said by numerous nurses on numerous medical wards, one of the most common things I have heard them say to Chris, why not get someone down here from psychiatry and let’s not waste police time.

Quote 5, said by a psychotherapist, he needs psychotherapy to help him not feel the way he does, however they can’t do it with him because he’s too high risk of overdosing after the session… that leaves him where?

Quote 6, was an SHO psychiatrist, my jaw nearly hit the floor upon hearing her say that to Chris. Err no he doesn’t but at the moment he isn’t exactly in a good place and you don’t exactly seem to be helping.

Quote 7, was a Police Officer, and clearly didn’t understand the words ‘if you don’t know what to say, it’s better to say nothing at all’ because it’s one of the worst things you can say to Chris and actually made him more suicidal than he was already. Do they think he really wants to feel so bad he rather take his life?

There is a few there for now, really does make you want to hit your head against a brick wall at times, one thing I did learn through all this was record everything, times, dates, people you spoke to so that you could always look back if need be. Also I kept a record of how Chris was for the weeks I felt they were leaving him to die so that if God forbid anything had happened to him, I knew in my heart of hearts that I had done everything I possibly could to ensure he was ok.


Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

5 thoughts on “Quotes from professionals

  1. Thanks for this post. I’ve just been reading an interesting review on the literature relating to mental health stigma as it perpetuated by some mental health professionals which is consistent with the comments you have heard Victoria

  2. Wow. Just wow.

    So much for professionalism, eh? I’m amazed at how much they depend on the label to decide what to do for a person. That’s really rather pathetic. I’ve actually encountered more people saying that the label doesn’t matter so much as treating the symptoms – thought without a proper diagnosis the course of treatment can be ill-suited.

    The one that gets me is the one about being too unstable for psychotherapy. That’s just incredible, since it’s been shown that therapy is typically the most successful way to address BPD, more so than medications.

    • The lable thing drives me mad because although we know Chris has BPD he also has other symptoms that everyone agrees doesnt fit in with that diagnoses which then completely overlooks it. Completely agree the symptoms matter more than the label.
      There arguement for the psychotherapy was it would need to be done in a controlled environment so he couldnt just go away and overdose like he did after the psychotherapy assessment but then no one was able to provide both the psychotherapy and controlled environment. Crazy eh?

  3. So let me get this straight, they can’t section him because he was a personality disorder, but that rule goes out the window if he tries to leave? It’s mighty sad that a psychotherapist of all people wouldn’t try therapy. Isn’t that the point of it, to make you work through issues that are causing the thoughts? I was in the same place Chris is about six months ago and went to therapy almost every day. It’s probably what saved my life!

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