Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness



Apart from those that know me well, no one really knows how old I am because I never make a point of telling them. In fact I make sure I don’t give away my age, you are probably wondering why? Well although most say ‘it’s just a number’ which of course it is, they then seem to see you in a different light. I rather people got to know who I am, how I think and feel without the added stigma of my age getting in the way of their perceptions. It’s funny how much a number can get in the way.

Today though I have decided to say, after something someone said to me that I’m only twenty two years old. I’ve been through more in my 22 years than some people have in a lifetime, but it’s made me who I am, I don’t regret anything, a saying I use often and one I think of all the time is ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’ and for me and what’s happened in my life it is certainly true. I look at my friends of around the same age and I’ve not a lot in common, find myself talking to those older than me more often than not, in fact Chris himself is older than I am but that’s exactly why it works.

I can sometimes get wrapped up in the negative things, which I think we all can from time to time but someone told me to look at who I was, who I am and how much I’ve grown and to be proud at how much I’ve had to deal with, that not many other twenty two year olds have or will. You know what? That person is right, so no I’m not going to hide my age because of being prejudged, judge away, because I know who I am, how much I do/have done. More importantly my children and Chris know who I am and how much I do/have done, if other people look for long enough they might see that too.

Next time you’re walking down the road just think the people you are walking past of all ages could have a mental illness, be caring for someone, could be terminally ill, there are so many to mention. We don’t have signs on our heads nor do we have a particular look. It could be anyone and it could happen to anyone, if someone said when I was younger that I would end up a carer to my partner I would have probably told them not to be silly, but I have and its helped shape who I am today.


Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

3 thoughts on “Stigma

  1. You are so right. I am 42 and a lot has happened in my life. It is easy to get caught up in the negative but it is true everything in our lives shapes who we are. I have cared for people whom have been terminally ill in my family and stood b friends and family members with mental illness. You just keep your head held high because when ou know who you are and what you stand for that is what is important. Have a blessed day.

  2. after reading your posts, i must say your age is totally irrelevant! your strength and perseverance is totally incredible. not only that but you write a blog about it all that supports and helps others as well as raise the issues that are often unspoken. you are an inspiration xxx

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