Through the eyes of a carer for someone with a mental illness

A night that changed my life…


On the 7th March 2011, what had been a relatively uneventful birthday turned into one of the worst days of my life. Some of it to this day is still a blur, but I remember getting ready for bed not an inkling of what was about to happen, for some reason I came back downstairs where I found Chris who wasn’t himself at all. I was worried about him, rang his dad to come up to ours. While he was making his way over, Chris told me he had taken loads of tablets, I went to look for the packets and see what sort of numbers he had taken. I found he had taken over 50 tablets, and a real mixture of them. His dad arrived and we phoned for an ambulance, as I had the girls in bed and Willow who was still breastfed, decided it would be better for his dad to go up to the hospital with him. They left in the ambulance and I had no idea what was happening.

I was texting his dad for updates all the time but our A&E has a rubbish phone reception. His dad rang me once they were there and said Chris had been taken to Rhesus, he had messed up his heart rhythm, had dangerously low blood pressure and was very unwell, his dad had been told he was lucky to be alive. I felt sick; I wanted to be with him but at the same time couldn’t leave the girls with willow relying on me for milk. I sat up all night waiting for news, I saw every hour, I cried, I cuddled my baby girl tightly and prayed to god her dad would be ok. At around 6am his dad returned to our house, he told me Chris was just being transferred to MAU and he was going home to get some sleep. My day was now just beginning, I needed to take my eldest to playgroup, and to this day I don’t know how I managed to function.

Chris’ dad came to sit with the girls so I could go up to the hospital to see him; he had been moved to Coronary care unit. I gave him the biggest kiss and hugged him tightly, I didn’t want to let go. He spent 3days in hospital and was then sent home under the care of the Crisis team. I don’t feel ready enough to go into it any further, it’s only been lately that it really hit me what happened, maybe because the dates getting closer again. I remember a few weeks later speaking to our GP who again said he didn’t know how Chris was still alive and ok, how what he did was enough to kill anyone. I’m not sure how I’m going to react to my birthday this year, I know that every birthday that goes by I will say thank you to whoever was watching down on him that night, and who got me through the months to follow.



Author: acarerseyes

I am a mum to four gorgeous girls, and a carer to my former partner of eight years, Chris who has a mental illness, BPD. I blog my experiences.. life is tough! We live in Greater Manchester, UK.

3 thoughts on “A night that changed my life…

  1. God works in mysterious ways. I have been where Chris was I tried that after the birth of my first daughter, I was really depressed , felt worthless , and I had given up. I had the support of my family and friends and a great counselor that pulled me through. Tell Chris to hang in there. Bless you for sharing your stiry.

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve never been in your position, so I can’t begin to imagine how you felt/feel. But, I hope things get better for you and Chris. Perhaps you should make plans for the both of you to go somewhere on your birthday; it may help take your mind off what happened if you get a few hours of fun. I don’t know if either of you are up to it or if it will even help, but that’s what I do on anniversaries of bad events. The best of luck to you and your family.

    • Thank you for sharing that idea, I hadnt really thought of anything like that but that could be a really good, might just work. Will have to come up with some ideas now. Thank you again

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